Informative

Controlling Your Inner Critic

I am not good enough! Who says something like that? I am so stupid! No wonder I am a failure. I’m so ugly, so fat, I’m so weak. I can’t get anything right. These are just a few things people say to themselves who tend to excessive self-criticism.

Self-criticism is the habit of constant negative self-evaluation, resulting in dark feelings of worthlessness, pessimism, self-disappointment, and guilt when someone fails to match their expectations. It is often associated with major depressive disorder, leading to self-loathing and hatred.

As a spiritual seeker, one should not just accept themselves but should love and adore themselves to expand that unconditional acceptance and love to others as the next step in spirituality. Let’s take a look at the side effects of self-criticism, and as a seeker, how can we give ourselves a break and deal with this soul-crushing self-critique within us.      

The root of self-criticism

 Many psychologists say that self-criticism begins at an early age and often comes from comparison with others. Maybe we have an elder sister who is doing exceptionally well in sports or a brother who is excelling academically.

Parents, neighbors, teachers, relatives, or coaches pressure us to replicate the same success intentionally or unintentionally. Often, we put pressure on ourselves, and if those expectations shatter, we face bitter disappointment, resulting in shame in the eyes of others and oneself.

The ability to self-evaluate is extremely necessary for progress as a human being. When we do some self-reflection, it helps us illuminate some negative patterns in our lives, recalculate gain, and set new goals and parameters in life.   

On the other hand, constructive self-examination offers us a chance to revisit what went wrong and learn a lesson from it for improvement. Self-evaluation helps us progress, while self-criticism isolates us. It retracts us from engaging in new activities, finding new friends, and learning new skills.  

Overcoming excessive self-criticism

It often becomes overwhelming for a self-critique to seize these flooding negative self negativity. Almost all of the self-critique happens in our heads. Hence, it’s essential to pause, self-assess, and stop this vicious cycle of negativity that we impose on ourselves.

Following are a few tips you can practice to reduce self-criticism.

Think about what you are thinking.

Mindfulness practitioners are used to paying attention to their thoughts. An average human being has sixty thousand thoughts per day. These are sixty thousand opportunities to motivate yourselves or sixty thousand opportunities to tear ourselves down. Start paying attention to what signals you send to your subconscious. When we keep on saying bad things about ourselves, our Third Eye Chakra tries to manifest these thoughts into reality, magnifying our problems in real life.   

Writing down. 

Negative thoughts come in the form of a flood. They come fast, very fast. Our overly working brain can indulge in noting down hundreds of things that are wrong with us in a matter of minutes. Each thought of self-criticism increases our anxiety, depression, and sadness considerably. Answer to this? Note down every negative feeling you have about yourself.

Noting down will slow us down. So, when you feel overly critical about yourself, grab a notepad or pull up your phone and send yourself a text. Fact is, we cannot possibly write as fast as we think, and hence when we write, our brain focuses on writing instead of finding faults in ourselves. Every irrational, illogical, and ridiculous negative thought seems rational in our heads. But when we pen it down, it helps us gain perspective and some logic.

Cross question the critique. 

Our thoughts are not entirely accurate or correct. When we begin criticizing ourselves, take one step back and examine the evidence. Play the devil’s advocate, and cross-question every negative thought that enters your mind about yourself. Take a stroll in memory lane and counter every useless idea of criticism that comes in our mind with real-life incidents from your past where you have been successful.

Replacing criticism with positive self-improvement.

There is a clear difference between telling ourselves that we are not good enough and that we have room for improvement. Everyone has flaws, and that’s what makes us human. Instead of focusing and criticizing the flaws we possess, we become a better version of ourselves when we accept those flaws and move on towards betterment.

Chakra meditation for dealing with self-criticism

Self-criticism is often a result of a low sense of worth. When we feel insecure, when we have trouble setting boundaries for others, or when we are an excessive people pleaser. When we are overly disappointed with ourselves, we seek approval from others. This might be a result of an imbalance in the Solar Plexus Chakra.

Also known as Manipura, the Solar Plexus Chakra is located in the abdomen above the belly button. Its glowing yellow in color, and its element is fire. When Manipura Chakra is well balanced, it reflects confidence, motivation, purpose, and ability to take responsibility. Low self-confidence points towards aggression, low esteem, or over dominating character.

-Choose a quiet corner of the house and sit down there wearing comfortable clothes in a comfortable position.

-Close your eyes and concentrate on breathing. Relax your muscles as you exhale. 

-Do not prohibit thoughts from coming into your mind, but at the same time, do not get entangled with them. Patiently, let them leave your mind as they come. 

-Take a deep breath, fill your lungs, and exhale. Repeat this five more times. 

-With closed eyes, chant the Mantra’ Ram Namah’. Chant the words with correct pronunciation and keep chanting the Mantra loudly for three minutes. 

-After three minutes, continue to chant the Mantra in your mind without moving your lips. Repeat ‘Ram Namah’ for the next ten minutes in mind. 

-When you are done with the chanting, be seated in the same meditative position for a further two minutes, and then get up and continue with your day.

Ram Namah contains the Beej (seed) Mantra, which balances and strengthens the Solar Plexus Chakra. This leads to a transformation in our subconscious. Balance in the Solar Plexus Chakra enhances our grasping ability and eagerness to learn new things. It boosts our self-confidence, reducing our faulty pattern of excessive self-criticism.

Our mind can be our great asset or our greatest enemy, and hence, it becomes vitally important to control and train it well. Exercises like Mantra meditation, journaling, and mindfulness help us to silence that little self-critique within us for good. Meditation will help you activate a more productive inner dialogue with yourself, which will help you progress further in life.    

Excessive self-blame could be a symptom of severe depression. We will advise you to consult your physician, psychiatrist, or counselor before working out a plan to deal with it. You can incorporate the above suggestions by consulting with them. We hope this blog helped you gain insight into dealing with self-critique.  

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