Informative

Forgiveness: Core of healing

क्षमा बलमशक्तानाम् शक्तानाम् भूषणम् क्षमा। क्षमा वशीकृते लोके क्षमयाः किम् न सिद्ध्यति॥

Forgiveness is the power of the week. Forgiveness is the ornament of the powerful. This world is controlled by forgiveness. What cannot be achieved by forgiveness?

Often, during live meditations, Swamiji asks us to forgive people. Swamiji supports this concept by quoting Bhagvat Geeta.

In Bhagvat Geeta, when Arjuna Asks, “Dear Lord, who is the bravest warrior in this world?” Lord Krishna replies, “the one who has the strength to forgive and seek forgiveness from others is the mightiest and the bravest warrior of all time.”

It’s easy to recall someone who has wrecked our relationship, destroyed our career, or questioned our integrity. As we remember such incidences, we repeatedly experience both mental and physical worlds of hurt. The damage they have created deep within us leaves us angry, sad, bitter, and overflowing with a vengeance.

Forgiving is a tough pill to swallow because revenge makes us feel better by inflicting the same pain on the person who has wronged us. Being nearly impossible to let go of, we often confuse seeking vengeance and desiring justice.

While holding a grudge at someone, we think, “I will never forgive him because I don’t want to get him off the hook that easily.” In reality, your forgiveness doesn’t affect that person whatsoever. Instead, when you forgive someone, you are the one who has started a journey towards healing.

Research shows that the individual who forgives others has lower stress levels, lower heart rates, less physical pain, lower blood pressure, and lives longer. Refusing to forgive someone is like holding the Cobra snake who is biting you, and you are wondering why it keeps on biting you.

Seven step program for forgiving someone:

 The attitude of forgiveness is a combination of inner growth and deep spiritual practice. In a worldly manner, our forgiveness depends upon the circumstances and our nature. In spirituality, forgiveness is unconditional. We can follow these seven steps to lighten off that burden of a grudge from the shoulders of our subtle body.

1. Acknowledging the hurt. We need to understand what were the circumstances, context, situation, and duration of that incident. Not acknowledging the incident itself means living in denial.

 2. Contemplate how the pain and hurt have affected you. Acknowledge the feelings you are having for that particular person.

 3. Understand that no matter what, you cannot change the fact. Here is the turning point at which you must think about whether you should forgive this person or not.

 4. In this crucial step, you must decide whether you will or will not forgive that person. This is the step where the process of forgiveness begins.

 5. Mending the relationship with the person who has wronged you is the fifth step, with a note in mind that you repair the relationship and not restore it.

 6. Learn from the experience. Until now, you must be thinking that forgiveness is for their benefit and not yours. But in reality, you have found a closure in your open wound. Acknowledge this feeling of lightheartedness.

 7. Forgive. When saints forgive, they forget. But us not being saints, this process has to be repeated again and again. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you should suffer an injustice. If someone robs your house, you should forgive him but should exercise legal rights as well.

Ego and forgiveness

 Spirituality is all about connecting ourselves with the universal consciousness and accepting that we are a part of the divine. Ego is termed as Anava in Sanskrit. Anava does have another meaning: the one who considers himself different from Ananta (the divine).

This feeling of being separated, being unique from the world creates ego, selfishness, self-importance, and over defensiveness within a human being. It’s often seen that the one with a giant ego often gets provoked easily by others. If you think you get offended or hurt by others repetitively, it means that you are the one with a huge ego, and you have to work on it.

Manaspuja is a ritual of worshipping the divine by visualizing all steps of the ritual in mind. This type of puja is considered to be the most challenging yet most pious form of ritual. During this procedure, one has to offer food to the divine. A true devotee is the one who offers his ego to the divine.

Forgiveness and Meditation

 -Today, when you sit for meditation, try forgiving someone who has hurt you real bad.

 With closed eyes, concentrating on your breath, try to invite the person with you.

 -Try to visualize his face in front of you while meditating.

 -Understand that he has caused you the suffering, but that was his karma. You chose to be miserable; that’s your karma.

 -Realize that there is no need to carry that baggage of painful emotions anymore.

 -Forgive that person for saying your good buys.

 -Even if you must remember that person, remember him with pleasant memories.

 -And continue with your regular meditation practice after this.

Remember, forgiving is the characteristic of the divine. Before ascension, the last words of Jesus were, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

Keep in mind that forgiveness does not mean minimalizing or justifying. It neither means rescuing someone from the justified consequences nor asking to forget the sin by avoiding reconciliation.

Forgiveness is at the nucleus of healing. When we forgive someone, it starts healing us from within. When we forgive someone, we are not excusing them from their karmas but are lifting a burden from your own heart with a newfound sense of completion and wholeness.

Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Make peace with this world. It’s a courageous step, which won’t be easy, but it will reward you with a precious gift of freedom from the emotional baggage.

We hope this blog helped you understand the concept of forgiving. Feel free to send us your queries at info@chamundaswamiji.com

We look forward to hearing from you.  

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