Spirituality

Overcoming Jealousy, the spiritual way

Your co-worker got a big raise. Or maybe it’s your best friend, spending more time with her new friend. Your neighbour bought an expensive car, or it’s your Facebook friend who keeps on posting photos about his amazing life. Every day, life gives you many opportunities to be jealous.

Being jealous is a part of being human. Everyone feels a little jealous once in a while, and it’s okay. But engulfing yourself in this green monster is a straight highway towards self-destruction. It can deliberately ruin your relationships with others, and it can cause serious damage to your health. Let’s look at what jealousy can do to us and the ways we can manage jealousy in day-to-day life. 

 

Origins of jealousy

Over expectations. 

 Often we put unrealistic expectations over ourselves and of others. That leads to the mentality that we deserve success quicker and faster than others. When this does not happen, we face a harsh reality. Instead of searching for the reason within, we start blaming others, and if someone achieves that goal before us, we start to feel jealous.

Unhealthy comparison.

 Many times, we compare our lives with friends. It’s very easy to get jealous of your friend by looking at the Instagram photos of him with his new expensive shiny car. But while we get jealous of his achievements, we often tend to ignore the struggle and hardships he went through to be in his current position.  

Insecurity.

 It’s very easy to look at the achievements of others and wish we have what they have. This unhealthy comparison often leads to harsh self-criticism, which takes a heavy toll on our self-confidence. We start beating ourselves for not having what others have. After this, insecurities come into our lives and stress out every relationship. 

Entitlement. 

 

Due to things like our past success, and the efforts we have made, we start to think that we are entitled to certain things. For example, employers think they are entitled to get the same amount of work done by a new employee compared to the experienced employee they have fired. They don’t understand that the new employee is inexperienced and cannot be compared to the experienced one, which leads to disappointment.

How jealousy affects us physically?

Whenever we get jealous, our brain pays the heavy price for it. The amygdala, the brain centre, releases transmitters into our brains that mimic the experience of actual physical pain. The social pain of jealousy is the same as the physical torture given to the body.

The overstimulated amygdala also presses the panic button inside our brain, triggering a primitive fight-or-flight situation. This releases chemicals like adrenaline and noradrenaline into our bloodstream, resulting in loss of appetite, nausea, or even vomiting.

Over-exposure to the feeling of jealousy has a negative impact on our hearts as well. It stresses our sympathetic nervous system, releasing the heart rate and blood pressure. Neglected over a prolonged period, it also leads to life-threatening hypertension and heart disease.

Getting rid of jealousy

Be you. 

 Instead of comparing your success with others, create your value system which will define your limits and success rules. It’s natural to get jealous to watch others fulfil their dreams and achieve success while you don’t know your true purpose. Spirituality tells us that we have been put on earth for a special purpose, and it’s vital to find that purpose. Some sincere soul-searching will definitely lead you to your life goal.

Be the real you. 

 To reach the goal, we often compromise our values. To look successful, we often tend to suppress the real us and put on fake masks to mimic others’ success and fortune. Buddha used to say, Atta Deepo Bhava, which means you are your own light. When you become authentic, you give yourself permission to be yourself and start shining with your own light.

Self-respect. 

Unless you love yourself, it’s impossible to love someone else. We tend to become overly critical of our abilities whenever failure starts to engulf us. When this happens, consider some of your time. But be aware that not all the activities you like could come in this category. For example, getting drunk and hanging around with negative people or gossiping will only lead to self-destruction. Self-care activities like meditation, exercise, spa, gardening, painting, reading, etc., which will nurture your mind, body, and soul and make you feel valuable, nourish your soul, and make you smile.

Company.

 Surrounding yourself with optimistic, positive people will do a lot of good to your mind. Look at your social circle and analyse how many friends, family, and co-workers are happy, positive, life-affirming individuals. How many want nothing from you but to see you reach your highest potential? How many gossipers, chronically unhappy, toxic people bring you down? If negative people surround you, break that circle and find some new positive people to be inspired by.

Gratitude. 

 Jealousy often originates from not having something others are having. Keeping a gratitude journal, or just showing your gratitude to the people you are with, will help you to be happy with what you have. Maybe it’s your family, health, weather, the job you love, or a pet in your life; start noting down ten things you are grateful for every day. It will help you focus on what you have instead of what you don’t have.

Meditate. 

 Meditation teaches you to look inward instead of searching for happiness in the external world. It focuses on and re-examines your beliefs, life goals, your personality, and definitions of success and failures. With enough practice, one stops seeking external validations and begins seeking the innermost yearnings of the soul.

It helps us to practice detachments. Unhealthy attachments to outcomes, people, things, and places constantly give us a false sense of being in control. When we free ourselves from these attachments, the life force moves freely through us, freeing us from the weight of entitlement, outcomes, and mental burdens, making us at peace.

Chakra balancing and jealousy

Manipura, commonly known as the solar plexus chakra, is the third energy center of the body. Translated as a lustrous gem, it’s located a few inches above the navel. This chakra is associated with fire and the power of self-transformation.

The perfect balance of this chakra brings self-confidence, motivation, and a sense of life purpose to the spiritual practitioner. But the imbalance in the chakra leads to many physical ailments such as digestive system disorders, fatigue, weakness, overeating, unhealthy weight gain, and diabetes-like issues. Jealousy, low self-esteem, inability to make decisions, and control issues are a few indicators of Manipura chakra blockage. If the seeker is suffering from jealousy, it becomes vital to balance the solar plexus chakra.

Yoga poses like Paschimottanasana (seated forward bend) and Bhujangasana (cobra pose) aid in bringing balance to the Manipura chakra. Meditation, focusing on the collar plexus chakra, helps to remove blockages from the chakra.

Many ways, like spending time around heat, consuming yellow-colored food, confidence-boosting exercises, positive affirmation, yoga, etc., can bring balance to the chakra. But the best way is to meditate, focusing on the chakra while chanting the mantra “‘Kleem Kalikaye Namaha.”

So next time you sit for the meditation, wear loose clothes, preferably yellow colored ones. Get in a comfortable position and concentrate on your breathing for the next five to seven minutes with closed eyes.

When you breathe deeply, begin chanting the powerful Beej (seed) mantra” ‘Kleem Kalikaye Namaha” loudly, pronouncing every letter correctly. After chanting for three to four minutes, begin chanting the mantra in your mind. While focusing on the location of the Manipura Chakra, keep chanting the mantra. After chanting the mantra for about ten to twelve minutes, stop and get out of the meditation.

If you have been dealing with unfavourable stars, this mantra will reduce their adverse effects on you. This powerful mantra belongs to Divine Mother Kali, that will provide cleansing to your Manipura chakra, boosting your self-confidence to new heights. It will create positivity within you, granting you the internal strength to process your emotion to overcome jealousy and false ego.

Even though there is plenty of literature available on Chakra balancing, it is highly recommended that one learn these steps under the supervision of a Guru. Everyone has unique spirituality, personality, and experiences. One solution cannot fit all, and therefore it is imperative to seek guidance from spiritual experts to get that unique mantra and Chakra meditation method crafted exclusively for you. And hence, we recommend you practice these methods mentioned above under the guidance of an expert. 

We hope this blog helps you to understand the spiritual ways to improve emotional maturity.  

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